Purposeful Perspectives: Love in Many Forms

Valentine’s Day – a day of love. Known to many as an opportunity to celebrate romance and display our fondness for loved ones with words and gifts -and to others, as a silly and commercialized holiday to encourage frivolous spending.

No matter where you fall on the spectrum of feelings and opinions about the holiday, it’s nearly impossible to avoid the imagery and messaging of love and how we should recognize and demonstrate it.

In my family, love was often shown with words and physical affection, and it was given in excess by both my immediate and extended families. We would hug every person at every opportunity and say “I love you” at every departure and at the end of every phone call. Picture the stereotypical “southern goodbye” where you say you’re about to leave a family event and then make your rounds to give hugs and tell everyone you love them, and then you take a couple of steps, start another conversation, and remember that you’re leaving, and then go through another round of hugs and “I love yous” all over again – rinse and repeat 5 more times so that by the time you make it outside, your clothes hold a mix of perfumes and colognes and your cheeks a blend of lipsticks.

This level of affection was not exclusive to official family members only. It was offered to anyone who crossed our paths. You know the quote about how people forget what you said and did but never how you made you feel? My family made everyone feel welcomed and important – like no matter who you are, you matter, and we’re glad you’re here.

I have continued these displays of love and inclusion into my own life and family – hoping those around me feel a sense of comfort and nurture. Something I tell my children as often as I can is, “there is nothing you can ever say or do to make me stop loving you.” While they may be too young to fully grasp the gravity of the sentiment, my hope is that the seed is planted deep into their subconscious and will grow roots, so they never doubt that they are unconditionally loved.

Valentine’s Day itself is not particularly special to me, but the concept of ensuring others feel loved and cared for is deeply important to me. I believe every single person should be -and feel- truly seen, heard, valued, and loved. As I consider the vulnerable families we serve, I can’t help but think about how harrowing it must be to have their love and value feel questioned due to their circumstances and time in crisis. I think about how devastating it must feel to be separated from each other for yet another holiday -no matter how silly or small it might seem to some. And I wonder if they feel alone and misunderstood.

• To the parents who aren’t able to hug and kiss their babies today – we see you, we know you love your children.

• To the children who are unsure if or when they’ll go home – we hear you, you are loved and cherished

• To the caregivers sharing their homes and hearts – you are valued, you are appreciated.

• To the professionals and providers dedicating their lives to serve others – you matter, you’re making a difference.

This month, amongst the seas of pink and red decorations, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, bouquets of flowers, and jewelry ads, I hope you’ll consider offering a deeper level of love and connection to those around you. I hope you’ll believe that every person holds value and a need to be noticed and appreciated. And I hope you’ll be willing to offer your hands, hearts, and minds to serve. If you’re looking for a way to do just that… visit gacasa.org/grow.

As an organization dedicated to supporting children and families in crisis, we recognize that holidays can be a delicate and nuanced time for many. In this series, Purposeful Perspectives, we asked our staff members to select a season, month, or day that is meaningful to them to share with our CASA community. Thank you for joining us as we take a deeper look behind the celebrations that fill our lives.